strong content warning for themes of suicide and drug use.
2016 Extra Comic (Lola)
2016 Extra Comic (Sugar)
30th Apr 2017, 12:00 PM
30th Apr 2017, 12:00 PM
loooots 2 chew on
-sugar is directly putting herself on the level of lola’s mom here??? i wonder if angel’s note was directly accusatory, rather than sugar interpreting it that way from guilt. it don’t think it’s at all necessary for sugar’s behaviour, but a some of her dialogue here feels like justifications for if angel had left some parting shots - i think that lola might suspect it. there’s a sort of cognitive dissonance with sugar here no matter what, given her own feelings on the idea of writing a note period, and her refusal to find fault with angel out loud
-sugar makes 3 distinct statements in panel 11, and it’s ambiguous as to which one lola is answering (sugar interpreting it as the third.) they all have similar implications when you read it as about lola and their mom, but there’s more to dig into there when you look at it as sugar also expressing her guilt surrounding angel (and lola?). i find it interesting that lola’s first offer for who should decide is ‘her?’
-‘that was their choice’ feels like lola throwing sugar’s words from the first scene right back at her. they’re directly challenging sugar’s guilt, and it also feels like a similar situation to page 46 where they’re unhappy with sugar using their trauma as a tool to self-flagellate
-feeling some of that bitter protectiveness from lola.. hurt sugar in any way and u are dead to them
-the sunset’s making the sun look bigger. looks angry, almost, with the flares of red as the tension of the page goes up
30th Apr 2017, 12:05 PM
oh fuck me this can't end well. fuck
this is such a tense page holy shit
30th Apr 2017, 12:13 PM
I love the coloring on this page
30th Apr 2017, 1:09 PM
i think the colors on this page are really beautiful!
30th Apr 2017, 1:09 PM
i love them both so much! this made me tear up, seriously, sugar is hurting so much (shocking, that's kind of what this comic is about). this is literally amazing writing here. i can't even put in to words how amazing lola is here- im not a good enough writer
30th Apr 2017, 2:07 PM
it's really striking to see how much thought Sugar has put into committing suicide in a way that doesn't effect the people that have to deal with it (like when she talked about crashing the car and people having to scrape you off the road) but then also claiming "there's no guilt to a corpse" as if she doesn't care about the after effects. She wants to kill herself in the same way that Angel did, claiming it's "perfect" but she herself feels how their suicide has effected her. You can see the inner conflict inside her manifest in the way she keeps contradicting herself. She wants to have the most clean cut death possible, but there is no way to die without effecting the people you left behind. there just isn't. The dialog in this comic is so well written ahhh!
30th Apr 2017, 2:26 PM
this feels to me like an examination of both lola and sugar's uncertainty about suicide- like josie commented, lola's reply to what sugar says in panel 11 could be to any or all of the three statements.
sugar's claim that "she killed you, lola" is SUPER interesting to me given that lola's currently still alive, and that sugar is the one who suggested the trip. sugar's been making a lot of assumptions about lola's will to die or live (ever since "you're broken, too") and it feels like lola's challenging that.
i mentioned on tumblr that sugar often seems to be actively talking herself into suicide, and this page continues that theme. it makes me super excited to see how the comic is going to end!
as a side note, i really appreciate how sugar's grief for angel is handled. a couple years ago one of my good friends killed himself, and while my grieving process has been different than sugar's, the topic of being suicidal due to the suicide of a loved one is near and dear to my heart.
30th Apr 2017, 2:28 PM
comment x2 because i just remembered "you're such an angel's advocate" and, haha wow
30th Apr 2017, 8:02 PM
looks like lola is really forcing sugar to re-think what she said at the beginning of the comic. not only does lola bring up that committing suicide was angel's choice, which sugar told them on page 4, but they also seem to be bringing up the idea of "we can't change the world, but we can change ourselves" from page 5. obviously the way sugar meant change was changing from life to death via suicide, but the way lola is bringing it up here seems to be in a "we can change our mindsets about why we're actually going to kill ourselves" way. lola's trying to get sugar to change the way she thinks about suicide, and more importantly, how angel's suicide REALLY affected her.
or at least that's how i'm interpreting it, i could be totally wrong about all that though. still, this is a powerful page either way
30th Apr 2017, 8:09 PM
just something else i noticed right after posting this comment, but lola is wearing their seatbelt. on pages 53-54 it was kind of A Thing that lola wasn't wearing their seatbelt, and (from what i can tell) they were a little more enthusiastic about the idea of killing themself back then. i think it's safe to say that lola's second-guessing their decision to go to the grand canyon real hard now. i wouldn't say they outright regret it, because they were thinking about their note in the page before, but still.
30th Apr 2017, 9:38 PM
*reads this page* ... *goes to take my meds*
1st May 2017, 2:17 AM
Real intense but the real question is
Wheres the commentary?!?!? I cant live without em!!
1st May 2017, 5:05 AM
sometimes i don't have commentary for pages. lately it's been a mix of things.
as the story has gotten closer and closer to the ending, the scenes are becoming more personally close to home for me and more emotionally taxing. at the same time, as the story is this close to the ending, it's hard to have much to say without overtly spoiling what happens next.
my commentary for this page was going to be "begging the question".
1st May 2017, 4:08 PM
"i deserve to die" is such a strong word choice, much stronger than her usual reasonings for wanting to die (and to want is much different than to deserve)... how much of this was because of school, because of angel, because of family besides angel, because of therapy, because of the frankie breakup to a lesser degree even. if anything this suicide roadtrip is sugar's one and only chance to process all of these things she never gave herself time to grieve and unpack at all. i also wonder if she expected this from lola, since she intended for the trip to be romantic and fun, that there would be this underlying tension. im excited to see what sugar has to say about suicide being angel's choice too, i hope we get more insight into why angel wanted to die besides what we can infer from what we know already.
1st May 2017, 4:38 PM
the colors on this page are so soft and beautiful. really great job.
2nd May 2017, 10:03 PM
23rd Jun 2017, 8:08 PM
wow the lighting on this page is so perfect, i can feel the glare making them squint and idk, something about this huge beautiful spectacle happening around them yet again during such a painful conversation... ouch/wow. i've been catching up on drop-out after accidentally forgetting about it for months and i can't stop crying bc it's still the most relatable thing i've read in years.
9th Jun 2019, 1:02 AM
getting harder to leave comments... seeing bits of myself present in both of these characters isn't fun during scenes like this, haha.
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