each comic is another day. trying to place all these characters together, decipher their emotional contexts for saying the things they say... it's tough. it's so good. it makes my heart hurt.
this whole discussion is so relatable honestly; i guess for me, feeling like you've spent so long trying to be one thing that no one's going to respect the part that you've been pushing away if you let it show, or if you'll be seen as less because of that other part
also, i like how lola's taking the backseat - sugar's in the driver's seat, lola can offer her guidance and suggestions but it's ultimately up to sugar to choose what path she takes (if they live, i suppose)
what's the word before 'pronouns' in the third panel? i can't quite make it out
also, i'm assumin lola is being sarcastic about sugar saying something to make them hate her? word comprehension isn't my strong suit and that sentence is escaping me a bit
anyway. i can relate a lot to sugar here, asking for comfort and not being able to give it back. her expression in the last few panels is good, you can tell she's drained. good stuff
"porn" pronouns. referring to a specific genre of fetish porn targeted at a fantasy idea of intersex people, where they are most often referred to as "ze" or "shi".
for the sentence lola says about hating sugar-- i can't really say more on it besides that sugar interpreted it as a sarcastic joke, so it was probably meant to be able to be taken that way.
wait can you explain the whole porn pronoun thing more? like,, ahh sorry if im difficult like are they used in porn specifically and so it makes intersex people more of a target for harassment?
i can to a degree.
the pronouns are used outside of a pornographic context sometimes, but they are used in porn very often.
the pronouns themselves aren't really the main point, but a point of reference-- intersex people (let's be honest: specifically intersex women) are fetishized. you look into the world and see something nothing like you as a reflection of yourself. intersex people are subject to harrassment, but this specific phenomenon is more isolation than anything-- they don't talk about it because you can't find much besides porn, they don't look for each other because you never know if you're talking to someone like you or someone who wishes to be a fetish of what you are. a great summary of this point is there has been one suicide crisis hotline specifically for intersex people (because their suicide rates ARE a lot higher than the average population) in the US; it was shut down because the amount of calls that were people asking where and how they could go about having sex with an intersex person became overwhelming.
this is what sugar is referring to, and by using the pronouns, she felt she was reclaiming a portion of this. when she used pronouns typically used for fantasy porn of intersex people, people were forced to associate them with her, as a real person, instead of a taboo fascination.
i've loved this sequence from beginning to end. knowing yourself is HARD. unraveling all the internalized stuff youve been taught is HARD. looking at yourself and saying 'this is what i am' is HARD, and being mentally ill only makes it harder.
i honestly related so much to sugar. struggling with your own self identity is so common for mentally ill people. i guess i'm like lola with my identity is now i just flow into what feels good, but it isnt always easy to just let things come. and i adore sugar for just being so damn RELATEABLE about gender feelings.
fggdsfjaha long rant is long im sorry. i want to give sugar a hug and a pat on the snoot.
ohh my god sugar talking about being intersex puts the last few pages into a brand new perspective and makes it 1000x more relatebale like goddamn you really put into words what it's like to be "not sure if im cis" while also being intersex
We don't know each other but this page feels like it was written just for me. I'm constantly amazed at how well you're able to get across complex feelings and ideas, and do it in a way that's not boring or preachy. This is my first comment, but I've been in the drop-out car since page 3 and religiously check for updates. Really, thank you for this. It's the only thing I look forward to these days. You are a gift.
sugar has helped me a lot being someone who's intersex but a woman too? i love her and maybe I'm not at the same spot as her but I love her and I love lola when she says "you gotta do what feels right" i love her i love them both I love this comIC thank u so much for this. it's really helped me identify more with being intersex.
"you look at who you used to be, you look at who you wanna be, and you let one go." holy .. shit ..
if that's not something i've needed to hear in ages.
hey just popping in here to say that the gender talks on this comic are super relatable and i really feel the "kind of a girl, kind of not, don't know which one to let go of" thing. its someting i still struggle with and maybe i won't find an answer but maybe that's ok too.
also i really love your style and how you show the facial expressions (sugar's especially, the more exaggerated it is the easier it is for me to recognise).
coming back to this comic, just wanted to leave a message because this sequence of the comic was the thing that made me confront the fact that i'm bigender & had been pushing it away before. made me really confront the fact that i felt like i wasnt a "good enough" girl, if that makes sense. thank you for that :-)
