strong content warning for themes of suicide and drug use.

103

15th Jun 2017, 12:00 PM
103
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Author Notes:

Nobody 15th Jun 2017, 12:00 PM edit delete
Nobody
benefit of the doubt.
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Comments:

r 15th Jun 2017, 12:07 PM edit delete reply
wow i don't know what to say this is so intense and i just want both of them to be ok ;___;

that last line on the page is really interesting, i can definitely imagine that she's focusing so hard on just, the image of it in her head that she's not concerned with the distance anymore, just what it looks like—but, of course, she's hearing what lola's saying as well so i wonder if that's distracting enough that sugar might miss it as they drive by... of course, she seems really focused but ;___;
Reader 15th Jun 2017, 12:07 PM edit delete reply
"what if one of us doesn't die?"
thats actually something i've been kinda worried about this whole time. irl, snail furs can survive even decapitation, and we know lola has some pretty strong regeneration powers if sugar can regularly eat bits of her and lola ends up (physically) fine. like, that drop could kill a human, but what about someone who could theoretically grow themself back together? the thought makes me feel kinda D:
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 12:12 PM edit delete reply
Terminal velocity is pretty terminal. Becoming a 120 mph pancake is essentially impossible to bounce back from, which was the whole appeal of it that was talked about what feels like ages ago.
r 15th Jun 2017, 8:52 PM edit delete reply
well, sugar did say "even a human wouldn't survive" implying that a human would actually be more likely to survive it than someone like sugar or lola... stilllll ;______;
matt 15th Jun 2017, 10:20 PM edit delete reply
humans are surprisingly sturdy, and don't die of shock like a lot of animals do when injured. :3
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 12:22 PM edit delete reply
Can't say I'm surprised about Sugar's answer. I really wish I could read Lola's expression better in their last panel though, they are clearly focusing on something and there are too many obvious thoughts to be having to be able to guess their next move.
CJ.P 15th Jun 2017, 12:38 PM edit delete reply
... Oh gosh. "this is much better than a truck." Did... Did Lola snap their arm trying to kill themselves by jumping in front of a truck...???? I just realized the weight of that line, and connecting it to the extra comic... I was always wondering how Lola broke their arm.
chalpal 15th Jun 2017, 3:19 PM edit delete reply
YO DUDE CONSPIRACY THEORY
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 8:58 PM edit delete reply
idk, they did say to devon (in the sidecomic where their arm is broken) that they were "menopausal and apparently that makes your bones super fucking fragile" and your bones don't need to be fragile for a truck to break them? so bringing that up would be weird here if it wasn't the primary cause, since it's not like lola really seems to want to talk to devon abt it ("how the fuck are you menopausal" "...i don't know")
Guest 16th Jun 2017, 12:36 AM edit delete reply
the truck thing is kind of explained on page 10 (and i think a couple other places? i cant remember)
its because suicide by car crash has a much lower success rate than the canyon
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 12:45 PM edit delete reply
how close ARE they? It's difficult to tell if Sugar is really oblivious to the double meaning of phrases like that, or sometimes just acts like she is.
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 12:59 PM edit delete reply
They've been off paved roads for a few pages now since the near accident and based on Google maps of the north rim area they really can't have much travel time, the canyon is obviously deep enough at this point but sugar is after some arbitrary point to stop.
99 15th Jun 2017, 1:13 PM edit delete reply
Sugar taking "what if one of us doesn't die?" as "what if one of us survives falling?" as opposed to "what if one of us doesn't want to do this anymore?" is incredibly telling... I love this comic. Every bit of it is so amazing! Thank you for sticking with it for so long and sharing it with us.
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 2:26 PM edit delete reply
I think that panel inbetween is Sugar questioning if lola doesnt want to do it anymore. but when lola says shes worried she takes it to mean one of them surviving falling . which would make sense because i think thats what lola meant or she was backtracking when she saw sugars face.
tyler 15th Jun 2017, 1:20 PM edit delete reply
god, do i /relate/. i'd love to believe in some kind of afterlife but i've got that fear of being wrong about it. being sure that this one thing is the truth but oh you were a little off, have fun in hell! it's a reason i don't like going to church- nothing against christians, but they've drilled it in my head that christianity is the only way to have a good afterlife, which i don't believe but i've also become scared not to?
this page hits a little too close to home but in a good way that makes me think. i'm gonna be really sad to see this comic end.
BPDGoat 15th Jun 2017, 5:08 PM edit delete reply
God, me too. IDK how common that is. It scares me a lot to think I'm going to go to hell for not knowing the right thing to do or believe.
tyler 15th Jun 2017, 9:15 PM edit delete reply
i understand. i think deep down, everyone who's ever been exposed to religion has that fear even if its so tiny they don't notice.
- 15th Jun 2017, 1:36 PM edit delete reply
"nobody can really know the end til it happens"
*stares at people asking how drop-out ends like im in the office*
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 1:43 PM edit delete reply
they seem so distant....like theres a canyon between them lol
MysteriousJeff 15th Jun 2017, 2:08 PM edit delete reply
The stark shadows of the canyon look so cool! Your detail work is consistently high-quality and it's so marvelous OwO

Both Sugar and Lola's defeated looks... And also I noticed now that they're not looking at each other for most of the page and like, it feels like the times one of them looks at the other there's the emotional pain bubbling up to break it again.

I feel it coincides strongly with "everybody dies alone" & "not us" & the silence-as-answer, like, in this last stretch of a trip to die together both of them are in a sort of alone state even though not physically alone, even tho there's the desire to not be, because they love each other.
s 15th Jun 2017, 2:32 PM edit delete reply
"what if one of us doesnt die?" "were opposites! yknow what they say about opposites"
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 2:35 PM edit delete reply
"A'right. Can you spot me a 20? I can hit you back next week."

The dialogue work is simply too good throughout the comic.
harley 15th Jun 2017, 4:45 PM edit delete reply
its been said once and i'll say it again: your work ethic is too good fam keep it the f up
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 5:50 PM edit delete reply
No one dies alone... Not Us (Sugar reaches out emotionally by looking towards Lola, Lola isn't looking at her,) ; How close are we?
I love how well you weave in symbolic multiple meanings & elements in your dialogue & how natural it feels, it's rewarding to reread & analyze & find meaning in & I appreciate the work you clearly put into it bc it makes me feel a lot less stupid looking for those second n third layers in the world around me
Guest 15th Jun 2017, 6:33 PM edit delete reply
ah, i just thought of something that could throw an awkward wrench in sugar's plan. what if because it was a suicide spot already, they put barriers or guards there? or if there's just somebody there?
Char 16th Jun 2017, 12:56 AM edit delete reply
it's kind of wild if you look at the first few pages of this comic back from 2015 to see how ur art style has changed (improved, i'd say) just the quality is such an upgrade the colors are nicer and it looks a lot more purposeful <3
t. 16th Jun 2017, 5:19 AM edit delete reply
while sugar says, yes, science does explain everything, i wouldn't rule it out that sugar doesn't WANT there to be an afterlife, whether it truly exists or not. i mean it's painfully obvious that sugar Really Doesn't Like Herself, so in turn why would she want to 'live' with herself in some form of afterlife?
nix 16th Jun 2017, 3:35 PM edit delete reply
Very interesting scene, i notice that the detail of the pillar in the canyon in panel 14 looks like one of Lola’s top ‘n’ bottom eyes looking away from(shining) and at Sugar, respectively, tying right into the theme of “i don’t know/i know”, of inner and outer reality and their inability to ever be truly separated like we want them to be- esp being juxtaposed between some of Sugar and Lolas most powerful, pervasive defense mechanisms- Sugar’s tunnel-vision and Lola’s deflection/ambiguity, smokin all the while. Sugar’s expression of the widely-held sentiment that “science explains everything” also catches my attention because Sugar, having been a med student and knowing that they are both very well versed in the various horrors of the med industry, should know that science is just a process of educated (and not-so educated) guessing built on things that seem far fetched unexplored, constantly changing, falling apart, building up, so heavily biased and innately uncertain as everything and driven by that very unknown- the universal unknown that Lola then gently hints at: anything observable is “always never enough” of an answer because that is the nature of survival: the impermanence, the inability to grasp, and the fear. Neither science nor religion, or even the sweet-smelling promise of the end will ever “explain everything” but it’s as close as we can get, so they are so largely used as an “anaesthetic” to sooth all the kinds of pain, the innate disconnect, that primordial self-preservation, and the nature of the anaesthetics all point toward the feeling that the drive to preserve a peace of mind and escape the mental pain, takes top priority over the body (rat park, cognitive dissonance, Sugar’s take-and-give rationalization etc). Too much is not enough and visa versa, nothing explains everything and visa versa
Ricki 18th Jun 2017, 7:46 PM edit delete reply
I just noticed that if Sugar's looking at the road, the eye that's visible to Lola if she looks over at her is Sugar's blue eye. Very nice
Guest 19th Jun 2017, 7:06 PM edit delete reply
i was thinking about speculating about the ending again, because it's really been so hard to me to predict. rarely do i come across a story where the ending isn't obvious, so this is great writing and a story that doesn't give away its ending so easily.

i think... sugar is going to have a realization soon. like "wake up" and self-sabotage herself, because of med withdrawal changes or manic energy ending. because her life so far, it's like, "everything goes wrong", so of course suicide will fail again too. it'd be way too easy for sugar to just die and wrap up everything without anymore effort/pain (frankie relationship, lola relationship, parents/family, school)

it's like, what sugar wants, she never really gets. everything she hopes for seems to allude her.

i'm not so sure about lola's fate though. lola is a risk-taker and jokes around a lot and could end up dying on accident, i think. but i also think lola wants to live for sugar. lola was upset about the whole Angel thing so i dont think lola wants to be like that, because it would only add more fuel to the fire. lola really cares about sugar a lot and stuck with sugar the whole time despite the fact she could leave whenever she wanted. lola really wants to help sugar live, i think.

sry for all the rambling i just like to speculate i do this on a lot of manga i read too LMAO
Tori 21st Jun 2017, 7:47 AM edit delete reply
never have i waited so anxiously for the next installment of a webcomic.
earthcell 21st Jun 2017, 7:58 AM edit delete reply
earthcell
Really stressing the hell out about a situation that recently happened that is really, really similar to the theme of this comic. Saved this page for a time like this, it helps distract me to read over the pages and take it all in and then see the analyses in the comments. Even if it's just temporary it helps a bit.

Lola surviving is something i've been thinking about since i started reading this comic. it's extremely unlikely Lola being a snail fur is going to affect her chances of survival at all. Her regeneration is no superpower, even something as small as a cut on her hand took a day to close up, unless her regeneration becomes downright supernatural i don't think it will play any role in this. still, I can't help but be worried, because of how significant Lola's ability to regenerate is and how it's such a big part of her.

as much as I want them to live, I'd rather them both die than one survive. they have literally been together the whole comic and to have them separated like that would tear me apart.

And I love how the day is coming to an end, it's kind of perfect and poetic. You can see the stars slowly start to come into view. It supports what my comment on 101 said, how it kind of feels like the world is ending.
BPDGoat 8th Jul 2017, 1:09 AM edit delete reply
Lola's asked 'how close are we' before - on page 10, right at the beginning of the journey.